After I got back from South East Asia I didn’t get laid for about six months. It’d been six months of happy masturbation, but since my return I still hadn’t gotten any closer to pussy than the wank mags at work. So when the boys’ trip to Amsterdam came up, I decided to give the other side of life a go. I needed to laid, I was noticing myself that I was becoming more unattractive to the opposite sex by the day. It’s like when you’re with a partner and getting laid all the time, chicks can smell it and they want some of that too. But once you become single, they can smell that too; that stench of desperation. So that was it, I was gonna shag one of those women in the window in Amsterdam, I was gonna become one of those weirdos that do it. But then again I’m pretty certain I’m not the only man to fuck a hooker in Amsterdam. Apart from my elicit encounter in Bangkok it would be a new experience for me.

I’d heard the working girls of Amsterdam could be quite bullying once they’d gotten the money off you before you started. The common one was they’d get you in there – fifty Euros for fifteen minutes – they’d take the cash off you, tuck it away somewhere, and then the smile that got you through the door would disappear and your angel would turn into a she-witch and turn back and scowl at you, ‘Well you’ve only got fifteen minutes left, hope you’re hard enough! You’re not too wasted are you?’ and from the stories most men would quiver and die inside, and in general, walk out of there fifteen minutes later with their confidence around their ankles, fifty quid poorer and ended up back at their hotel jerking off.

I was already feeling sorry enough for myself, and the idea of that happening made me believe it would anyway. So I thought, well hey might as well cheat then and scored some Viagra off one of my friends, make the most of it you know. At the time I was earning about seven hundred pounds a week unblocking toilets and shit like that. It was nasty work but it paid well, what could I do? I sure as fuck was never gonna run a pub again, that was shit too.
Six of us went back to the Dam, Cousin Paul and his mate Cam, Big Greg who was another mate from the old days in Brixton Academy, normal Greg, my brother Scott and me.

Whoever had booked the accommodation had not really tried hard enough, and the only hotel they said they could find was one fifteen minutes away from the airport. Basically a taxi ride back to the airport and then a half hour train ride to get to Centraal Station. But anyway the hotel was swish as fuck and we had loads of ketamine on us. We brought k instead of coke for one simple reason. Five guys on the lash in Amsterdam would on average consume at least one gram of coke a day each; more than likely two. And that would have turned our cheap trip into costing a near small fortune, besides when you run out of coke all you want is more, and ‘cause ya’ in Amsterdam you might make the mistake of caving in to the ‘Coke, Coke, Charlie’ guys that harass you everywhere you go; give them fifty Euros for a gram of talcum powder or some shit. So we resisted temptation and saved ourselves the cost and risk of taking an ounce of cocaine to Amsterdam and settled on four grams of ketamine instead. It made financial and logical sense. You can only do so much k at a time, whereas cocaine…

So I was silently psyching myself up to sleeping with one of those girls in the window. I didn’t wanna say anything to the other guys, didn’t wanna jinx my special occasion.
We hadn’t come to the Dam to sit in a hotel – although it was fuckin’ plush as – so we dumped our shit, everyone had fat bump, I took a small one on the sly, then got a cab back to the airport and then the train into Amsterdam Centraal. As before, we started off at Hill Street Blues, you can’t go wrong, it doesn’t have the best dope in the Dam but I like the atmosphere of the place, it’s quite big, but it’s dark and dingy, and there’s graffiti all over the walls from the people who have been there over the years. It’s a smoky dive bar with good beer, comfy couches and awesome music, what more do you need? We sat around and drank, the boys bumped the k and it got messy quick.

After an hour or so of that we ducked out again and went for an innocent stroll through the red light district. There was every type of girl, for every type of need. We pulled up at the Bulldog and I made my get away. I let Cousin Paul know what I was up to and slid off. The mistake I think too many guys make when they’re walking ‘round the Dam is they window shop too long and psyche themselves out of it, so I stopped off at the first hot chick I saw and with a nervous flutter in my stomach, knocked on the glass door with its red light reflecting off the glass above.

A blonde woman just short of six feet smiled and stepped up off her stool. She was wearing scant purple lingerie that frilled up around her C-cup breasts. They were a good handful each. She opened the door halfway and said, ‘Hullo,’ in a sweet voice that was tinged with a Dutch accent.

Now really fuckin’ nervous and wishing I had kept on walking around the block and then back to the boys in the bar, but feeling like it had gone too far to take the embarrassment of backing down now, I asked her, ‘So um, what’s the score like? Um, you know.’

She smiled at me and said, ‘You get to fuck me for fifteen minutes for fifty Euros,’ and touched her bottom lip with her thumb. Sweet I had hundreds on me, it was put up or shut up time, so I sorta nodded and then took the hand that she offered me. My girl had dark stilettos to match her dark lingerie, and the red bulb in the corner of the room lit up the place when she drew the curtain across the door.

‘Ok, the money first,’ she said with a ruthless finality, the glamorous and seductive curl of her lips only returning once the cash was in her hand. She bent forward with one leg straight and the other one just bent as she tucked the money in a draw, then straightened out and picked up the receiver on a phone sat beside a mirror and made a call. Once she hung up my girl looked back at me and said over the blonde hair hanging across her smooth shoulder, ‘Your fifteen minutes start now. Come with me.’ My Girl reached out a hand and led me up a small staircase – my face two inches from her tight and muscled ass, her pussy just there – and brought me out into a bedroom with oval mirror, toilet, a single chair, a double bed and several vibrators, dildos and a variety of other sex toys.

I gulped on a dry throat, and checked the nerves still floating around, in the meantime she’d kicked off her heels, unstrapped her bra and was now sliding off her silken panties.

‘Aren’t you going to take off your clothes,’ she said in that seductive Dutch accent. You’re not too high to do this are you?’ Ha ha, I had her there. The Viagra I’d taken just as we’d landed was going full strength and this five foot ten-eleven blonde super model with perfect page three breasts and oh so smooth shaven pussy, wasn’t about to get away with that ol’ bit of urban legend. She was so fuckin’ hot with her dark eyes and full red lips, and with my hard on pushing through my pants I got outta those clothes faster than Superman in a disaster zone.

‘I got no worries there love,’ and grinned an, I’m-gonna-get-laid-with-this-hot-chick grin.

‘Well, well then, so I see that is the case young man (she was my age) but you must know there are a few rules. You must wear a condom, no kissing me on the lips, no touching my pussy with your hands, and anal sex costs more. If you break the rules, it’s over and you don’t get your money back. Hassle me and some very big guys will come in here and beat the shit out of you.’ I wasn’t really that interested in her ass, fine as it was. Damn her little bullying-seductive speech had sorta taken the romance out of the occasion, and I could see how most of the guys that I’d talked to about coming to the whores in the window in Amsterdam couldn’t get it up, and found it, all in all, to be a most frightening and humiliating experience. I’d cheated though, I’d taken enough Viagra to give a hippo a hard-on, this was looking like it was gonna be a fun experience.

My Girl, laid me down on the soft double bed and then rolled the condom down with her lips. She sucked on my cock for a while, going up and sown slowly while cupping my balls, and tweaking on them here and there, one hand reached up and grabbed my nipple, so I followed her lead and put my hands on her. I massaged my way across her velvety back and then ran my hands through her soft hair. I hadn’t been told off, so continued and then touched her left ear as softly as I could, before slowly stretching around under her armpit to finally take one of those amazing breasts in my hand. My Girl’s breast was firm and as I stroked my fingertips towards the centre her nipple hardened to my touch.

She looked up and smiled, ‘This looks like it may be fun, but don’t go with getting all carried away, and I’ll let you touch me as long as you do it softly like you are. Now lie down on your back, I want to see what your cock feels like inside me.’ And she pushed me down on to the bed and then straddled across me. The condom was wet with her spit and the lube, and she took me in one hand and rubbed the tip of it on her clit and lips a few times before guiding me in an inch or two. ‘Wait,’ she said, don’t get too excited on me now, this is my game.’ and swished her hips in circles, keeping the end of my knob just inside her in a practiced motion. I had a hand on each of My Girl’s thighs and looked from each of those to the wondrous vision in front of me of her fuckin’ amazing pussy and my condom wrapped cock mostly outside of her. Then I absorbed the whole sight of her; of the smooth curve of her sun-tanned skin up to her hands, which were now holding her breasts and guiding themselves over her nipples. She kept her rotating going as I tore my gaze away from that living pornographic sight, up passed the angularness of her jaw, up to her deep brown eyes, hidden behind stark, black lashes. Then; she slid all the way down. I was nearly done right there and then. In a normal situation any man would have been finished and quite happy to do so, but I had a bit of k running around in my system, had had a few beers and was on Viagra. So to both mine and especially her surprise I didn’t cum. In fact I smiled a cheeky, ‘Ah ha!’ tricked you, smile. She came down towards me, our faces barely apart, and began to ride up and down as those sweet firm breasts of hers brushed against me, leaving warm trails as they passed.

Just above a whisper she said, ‘You smell clean, have you just showered?’ as she kept up a steady rocking motion and her hot breath lingered in my ear.

‘Of course, I could show that much respect at least yeah?’

‘Why did you pick me?’ in such a husky Dutch accent.

This was gonna be an easy one, ‘‘Cause you were the most beautiful girl in all of Amsterdam.’ Bazinga!

‘Really?’

Now who’s leading the show love?

She looked at me with those eyes so deep you could feel the whole the world in them, and then leant down and kissed me on the neck, it was so unexpected and the feeling of euphoria her lips sent through me I thought well, this has been WOW but it’s gonna be all over soon. But yet the V and the K held me off from blowing. She kept her body moving with mine, and what felt like eternity, turned out to be fifteen minutes when yet another phone rang, and My Girl looked at me with a, ‘Well time’s up.’

I may have undressed like Superman, but I moved like the flash when she said that, and before she’d reached the ringing phone I’d passed over another fifty Euros. She had a quick talk with the thug on the end of the line, tucked the money away and slid back on top of me. My Girl took both my hands in hers and stretched them above my head, her breasts came up to my face and the smooth skin was hot and soft on both sides of my cheeks. She took up the rolling motion with her hips again her pussy slick and tight on my covered cock. So I leaned over and took her right nipple in my mouth, it was hard and with a flick of my tongue pulsed a little. I couldn’t keep control of her breast as My Girl let out a gasp, and told me to carry on. She started to buck back and forth more frantically as whimpers and groans escaped her. Changing from breast to breast, I tried to catch them as they passed my eyes and battered into my cheeks. I wanted to cum but I couldn’t, everything in my body and hers said we should cum together, the hairs on My Girl’s arms stood on end, and with a stifled cry her pussy started to convulse and squeeze on my cock. Sweat mingled amongst us on and trickled onto the bed.

‘Oh my god,’ she said, and slowed down, sat up a bit, let go of my hands, took my face with her now free hands and looked me in the eye once more. Her hips still moved, but with less intensity and meaning as before, she held that gaze, grinned a cheeky grin then said, ‘Have you got fifty more Euros. I think we’re gonna need a bit more time.’

We swapped money, it was fair trade, she got on the phone again, then she changed the condom, which was a bit tricky when you’re still hard. So all new and nice and fresh, I was half lying, half sitting on the bed and My Girl says, ‘Well I wasn’t expecting this but let’s keep going. I’m gonna need a second though so what I want you to do; and now hey, I’m trusting you, no touching my pussy ok?’

‘Ok.’ Nodding, hardly able to speak.

‘Now what I’m going to do is use this vibrator to get my pussy nice and ready for you again,’ and picked up a small purple one that had been the same colour of her lingerie, then switched it on, like to show me. It made the most comforting soft humming sound. I want you to lie down on your side, and rest your head on my ankle just here,’ and slid on to the bed beside me, placing one foot under one ear and then the other foot on top of the other.

‘Now I want you to picture and try to feel how good this is going to feel inside me, don’t worry it’s clean see, I’m just going to rub it on your balls for a second so you know how great this is going to feel for me. She switched her vibrator – which was clean – back into life and as she touched it to me the sensation of it was as welcoming as the sound it made.

‘Look me in the eyes,’ My Girl said. I did as I was told and she took the vibrator up to my cock, then over my belly and let it burrow it’s way into my soul through my nipple.

‘Ok,’ she said, ‘my turn now.’ and moved it up her leg all the way past her smooth thighs to the sweet crevice of her pussy. My Girl, stroked it up and down each of her lips and then just sat the vibrator near the top of them, and let it rest there for a moment. She pressed it to the left and then right, gently opening the fold of them and exposed her the bump of her clit, ‘Ohhhh,’ she said as she sat the soft purple gel of the vibrator just above the centre of her nerves and then began to work her way around it. ‘You can take your cock if you like and please yourself too if you want. Think about how amazing this makes me feel, think about how great it was when it was touching you. I did and I could, the feeling through the condom was better with my own hand, I knew exactly what it was that I needed to do. I kept up my jerking motion and she eventually started to work the vibrator inside of her. As her pussy wettened again and as I came nearer to finishing my task, with the unseemliness of the whole affair now gone and with only me and My Girl all that mattered in the universe I came like an all-star winner at a sporting event. I roared with my victory and my crowd of one cheered me on too.

Short of breath and locked in an embrace of legs, My Girl held me there as I watched from between her feet as she too came under the power of her favourite purple play-toy.

‘WOW,’ was all I could say for a moment or two.’

‘Yes, that was nice yah?’

‘Wow. Have I got enough time for a fag?’

‘You still have a few minutes, now get dressed and clean up the condoms and shit.’ as she took to washing the vibrator in soapy water using a soap bottle that had an antibacterial label on it.

I lit a fag, and offered one to My Girl, who turned it down.

‘They’re very bad for you, you shouldn’t smoke, or do those drugs you are on. You’re a really nice guy, and hey best one tonight, so you shouldn’t do them, they’ll fry your brain.’

We were still in fairy tale mode and she hadn’t said it like a lecturer but as like someone who actually cared. But hey, she was a hooker in Amsterdam, so who the fuck was she to lecture right? But it was no time to ruin the moment. So I smiled a warm smile back at her and explained that I’d worked six, sometimes seven days a week to save up for this experience, and then asked My Girl about herself. She was working her way through university, this was the only way to pay. So who was worse off here? We were both victims of humanity’s greatest desire. The want of more from life… It had been great and she agreed on that. ‘The best so far tonight!’

The phone rang again and I took my cue. She answered it, took my hand, and with a kiss on the cheek, led me down the stairs and pulled the curtain on the glass door to let me out. As I stepped through the door into the fresh air of the night I didn’t look back. A crowd of young guys, yelled and clambered their way over to me.

‘So what was she like bruv? Good fuck?!!’

I wanted to respect her more than that, but hey, My Girl was trying to pay her way through uni’, ‘High five mother fuckers! She is awesome!!’ and silently wished her luck.

The fulla looked over to his mates, ‘Wait there boys, I’m first, you all can queue up.’

And with what felt like it should have been a broken heart I walked back up the alley to find the boys still outside the Bulldog, minus a couple, and my brother on his hands and knees in the street puking his guts out. It only took a few minutes for us all to reconnect, and we decided to call it a night. It looked like we’d have to carry Brother Scott anyway.

---